Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Author
Rita Rudner
35 quotations
About Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner is an American stand-up comedian and actress. Beginning her career as a Broadway actress, Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned to stand-up comedy, where she has performed for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson helped establish Rudner as one of the notable comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s.
Read on Wikipedia → Find books by Rita RudnerSome women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.