Author

Tim Allen

19 quotations

About Tim Allen

Timothy Alan Dick, known professionally as Tim Allen, is an American actor and comedian. He is known for playing Tim "The Toolman" Taylor on the ABC sitcom Home Improvement (1991–1999) for which he won a Golden Globe Award and Mike Baxter on the ABC/Fox sitcom Last Man Standing (2011–2021). He voices Buzz Lightyear for the Toy Story franchise (1995–present) for which he won an Annie Award and played Scott Calvin and Santa Claus in The Santa Clause franchise (1994–2023).

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Topics: Mom Positive Car Marriage Men Relationship
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. K…
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. K…

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Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It's not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I'll do it because it's a momen…
Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. K…
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. K…
In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. K…
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. K…