Author

Woody Allen

53 quotations

About Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American filmmaker, actor, writer, and comedian. In a career spanning more than seven decades, he has written for film, television, and theater. Allen has received numerous accolades, including the record of most wins (3) and nominations (16) for the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. In addition to his four Academy Awards, he has won ten BAFTA Awards, two Golden Globe Awards and a Grammy Award, and received nominations for an Emmy Award and a Tony Award. Al…

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Topics: Funny God Death Good Nature Food
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?